Saturday, December 19, 2009

It's OK

Events however momentous or insignificant, tends to erase themselves from human mind.

The capacity of adaptability of a human being is just unfathomable. With every inch you move away from victory and closer to hopelessness your mind fights it. Standing in the arena, fighting, you know it’s not gonna end all happily but still you wait for a slight twinkle of luck to grace you and change things in your favor abruptly. But then miracles do not happen that often. And when it’s all over and evident and even your mind and heart can’t play a trick you stand all alone in a crowd of thousands not knowing whether to console or blame yourself for the loss. But then out of the blue your wisdom creeps in and says to you sometimes losses are just inevitable. Deep down your heart you know its lunacy and you are just acting coward but then this is what you call it as adaptability and acceptance. As a matter of fact you know life has to go on and you are not going to get a second chance so you just got to live with your loss and you gradually do succumb to the best option available, adaptability and acceptance, killing all the voices that comes from your conscience with the sword of so called wisdom according to you.

I don’t know whether this is the right choice or not especially when there is no other choice left for you but surely I do know the power of this choice. All of a sudden the grief and distress you are in seems to be combatable. You get the power to crush them with by just two simple words-“It’s OK”. Never one realizes the impact and influence of these simple words on human mind until and unless he says it to himself. It just acts so soothing to your heart and mind as if it has cast its own spell. It just makes you stoic enough to deal and live with your loss. And then gradually other things come by and the loss fades away from your mind or even it does pop up sometime in your dreams you just get up have a glass of water, recollect the reminiscences of the past, smile subconsciously and say …..“it’s OK”.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

A lot of people have suggested me to do this. Even I considered it myself at times but then never found something really substantial (at least that was the excuse I gave to save myself from the allegations rather accusations (coz its quite true) of slothfulness, for not doing it).And then some close friend of mine, irritated with all these theories, decided to confront me and asked for some elucidation. I was dumbstruck. Since I myself didn’t know what fucking substantial things I sought after, what in the world was I going to explain? But this is the benefit I believe you get when you are using some kind of chat programs rather than a face to face conversation, that u can easily evade from uneasy situations. You have got enough time to think and reply. I too played cool and said “You see what does a person generally writes about…..may be some happening events of his life or about his passions and imaginations and if nothing then some idiotic love stories…..and I do not satisfy any of these criteria. I mean my life has not been any ‘plethora of events’, neither am I to passionate about anything nor do have I any girlfriend (this is not to advertise that I am single) (as if someone cares, anyways)so basically apart from the negativity and nothingness surrounding me I don’t feel I have anything substantial”. The moment I pressed an enter key (remember I was in a chat program) an instant reply came “write about that, write about the pessimism around you”.

Whenever someone asks me about any plan of mine which I have no clue when it’s going to happen I say just one thing ‘it’s in the pipeline’. This is such a convenient word because then there is no temporal factor attached to it and none can bother you about what exact amount of time it will take to come into existence. I don’t know how much reality is into this but many individuals around me think I am quite a contemplative person (I personally do not second it) but this statement really made me think and eventually turned out to be so powerful that I was forced to shed my innate quality and afflict myself to scribble, type actually, (after all we are in a computer generation) a few lines.

Often when I ponder I feel how powerful these emotions of pessimism and nothingness are. It takes so much from an individual to look on brighter aspect of things but darker ones are always waiting there welcoming you with open arms. Whenever I hear these words “every dark cloud has a silver lining to it” I know, in my heart I know, that there is always a ray of hope however utter hopelessness one is in and one needs to look and concentrate on that silver lining, I know that, but it’s just that my mind doesn’t accept it. How can you look at a small streak of silver lining when there is that whole big black dark cloud to bother you? How can you just overlook that? I know these sayings were drafted by some very wise and idealistic people than me but every common man is not as wise as them. And life is not that ideal and hypothetical. People say all kind of good words that life is all about choices we make but I think it’s a bit more complex than that. It takes a lot of courage to break the shackles of negativity around us to see through the options available to ourselves and make a right choice. And often we are not able to achieve that courage sometimes the whole of our lives.